


Dancing Through Our House

by bandable



Series: skz works [6]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Ambiguity, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Dancing, Death, Drabble, How Do I Tag, I’m sorry, Multi, Song fic, here, uh it’s short and terrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 00:06:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14964825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandable/pseuds/bandable
Summary: felix wrapped his arms around himself, eyes burning again as he stared at the coffee cup sitting on the counter, unwashed still. it was an off white color, a shitty drawn squirrel on one side in black marker. felix had made it for jisung for their one year anniversary, and despite it being cheesy and lame, jisung had kept it and used it every morning. there was a stain on the edge of the mug from the tinted lip balm jisung insisted on using all of the time-aka; uh it’s jilix and it’s kinda angst and it’s a song fic?





	Dancing Through Our House

**Author's Note:**

> uh hello! i wrote this at 1am on my notes app and it’s probably terrible i haven’t proof read it all
> 
> but people were like oh publish it anyway and here i am so uh,,, happy birthday cindy i love u u grandma 
> 
> i’ll probably write something else for ur bday fic too but uh. here?
> 
> the fic was inspired by, and the title taken from, ghost lf you by 5sos (LMAOVJDJFJSJFKDV)

felix woke up slowly, groggy and exhausted despite sleeping for so long. his face felt tight from the dried up tears and his eyes burned. his room felt off balanced and strange, and it took him a moment to realize that it was because he wasn’t sleeping on his side of the bed. instead, he was on jisung’s, arms tightly wrapped around the pillow that still smelled of the other’s cologne.

felix debated on whether or not it was even worth getting out of bed that day. he was tired, had been tired for two weeks now. his hair was a mess, clothes wrinkled, face oily. he wasn’t even sure what day of the week it was. felix was, to put it simply, a mess. but, felix could hear jisung’s voice in his mind, nagging him to get out of bed and shower and eat something. so, despite felix wanting to just roll over, cry a little more, and sleep, he pushed himself into a sitting position. he rubbed his face harshly, took a deep breath and stood up, shivering at the cold temperature of the wooden floor.

felix trudged slowly down the hallway of their apartment. all the lights were off, and the curtains were all drawn shut. he felt like the cold, dark walk to the kitchen was a great representation of how he felt currently. felix stood in the middle of the kitchen, unmoving, as he shivered. winter was quickly approaching and felix hadn’t turned the heat on yet. all of his warmer winter clothes were in a box in the back of their shared closet, which neither he nor jisung had pulled out quite yet. felix couldn’t find the motivation to find a jacket or turn the heat on, so he dealt with the cold. 

felix wrapped his arms around himself, eyes burning again as he stared at the coffee cup sitting on the counter, unwashed still. it was an off white color, a shitty drawn squirrel on one side in black marker. felix had made it for jisung for their one year anniversary, and despite it being cheesy and lame, jisung had kept it and used it every morning. there was a stain on the edge of the mug from the tinted lip balm jisung insisted on using all of the time. 

as felix stared at the coffee cup, he regretted getting out of bed. he wished that he had rolled over and gone back to bed. he wished that he would have continued dreaming long enough for dream-jisung to hug him tight, and whisper in his ear that everything was going to be alright. that jisung was going to be alright. that felix was going to be alright.

but felix was awake. he wasn’t dreaming and jisung wasn’t there. nothing was alright, jisung wasn’t alright, felix wasn’t alright.

felix had never been very good at dealing with hard emotions, and so he did what he always did. he plugged his phone into the speaker, and played music too loud. he drank despite it being 10 in the morning, because he didn’t know what else to do. he wanted to drown everything out, because drowning it out was easier than dealing with the hard things in his life. when he was significantly drunker than before, he closed his eyes and pretended that jisung was there in the kitchen with him. jisung would grab his hand and laugh at how felix insisted on playing music as they made breakfast. he’d playfully twirl felix around the kitchen and grin as felix laughed loudly at the actions. jisung would laugh just as loudly as felix tried to twirl jisung the same way, almost tripping them both and sending them tumbling to the floor.

-

it was a many years ago when jisung had shown up on felix’s doorstep, wearing an old acdc t-shirt and tears streaming fown his face. both boys were barely out of high school, felix moving into the apartment his parents had pushed him into saving up for.

jisung wasn’t quite as lucky. his parents had found out about his sexuality, and sent him flying. kicked him out with nothing but the clothes he was wearing and a demand that he never came back. with no where else to go, he had turned to felix. showed up at his apartment, tears streaming down his face. when felix had let him in, he spilled everything about his home life to his sexuality and how he had nothing. felix was so shocked at all of the hurt jisung was hiding behind a smile that he didn’t know what else to do but hug him tightly and tell him that he was welcome to stay with him until he figured something out.

looking back, felix could see that he had fallen in love so quickly. he could see now, looking at the way he gently traced his fingers on jisung’s arm that night as jisung slept. he could see now, remembering the way his heart jumped when jisung asked if felix would mind him staying permanently. he could see it all now, as he remembered being young and dumb, and not understanding why he felt so happy around jisung. he understood it so much better now, and wished nothing more than to be able to turn the clock back and slap his old self across the face and tell him to make a move. he wished he would have made a move so much sooner, that he could have extended the time he was able to truly love jisung with all of his heart and soul.

felix could still remember the first time he had kissed jisung. they’d been living together two years, dating for three months. jisung had recently lost his job and was desperately searching for a new one. this had meant a lot of nights where jisung was up late applying and searching. it was one particularly stressful night when it had reached 2:30 am and he was still awake.

felix had gone to him, tried to gently pry him away to bed. jisung had panicked, saying that he needed to find a job, that he needed to continue to look because if he stopped he’d never find a job and he couldn’t make felix support him forever. it ended with jisung almost completely losing it, and felix didn’t know what else to do to get the other to calm down and listen to him. so, felix kissed him. 

and jisung had kissed him back.

the first time felix had said i love you wasn’t as big of a deal as he had expected it to be. it had happened naturally, the two sitting on the couch after a long day. felix had looked at the other, hair pushed back messily as he worked on some paper work for his new job. felix was so mesmerized by jisung’s beauty that he just blurted out, “jisung, i love you.”

jisung’s head had snapped up, and felix had panicked for a moment thinking maybe he had read into things too much. that jisung didn’t share such feelings for him. but instead, jisung grinned like he always did and made felix’s heart flutter and said, “felix, you idiot, i love you, too.”

the duo had been so, so perfect for each other. they balanced each other out in every way. the perfect give and take, up until the very last moment they shared together.

until the day that jisung didn’t make it home after work.

-

felix pried his eyes open as the music stopped playing. he was still standing in the kitchen, tears on his face. nothing had moved, the coffee cup still on the counter, the dishes still piled around the kitchen. felix was standing in the exact spot as before.

he took another drink to try and drown things out again. but, as he stood there, staring at the squirrel on the coffee cup, it went down as more of a shot of truth, instead.

jisung was gone. 

felix was alone in the kitchen, not dancing with jisung. alone in the apartment, alone in life, just. alone. unmoving, completely, utterly, alone.

_and my feet don’t move, like they did with you._


End file.
